Master Splinter's mystical origins

Keep your mind open

ego in check

and stay goofy. 

 If you're looking for another group of stone faced dudes in form fitted black T-shirts, arms akimbo, looking like they were instructed to attempt to be a physical representation of the word "Brooding", you'll unfortunately be disappointed here, folks.


Master Splinter is, as you can probably infer from the band name itself, not your average metal band.  Not only do they blend a dizzying array of other musical influences into their stoner rock foundation, they also cover the entirety of the emotional spectrum with their metaphorical story telling. These dudes each have their own wildly unconventional life stories, so it's no surprise that the music they write together ended up being as odd and unique as they are.  If you thought you were mistaken when you heard one of them say they're a former samurai, or they're engaging in fisticuffs with Zeus in the nimbostratus, or perhaps speaking in first person as a traumatized salamander plotting its revenge against a reckless forestry worker, you weren't.  You heard correct!


Not your average metal band, indeed.  You won't find a specific style, niche, or anything that remotely resembles "hip" with Master Splinter.  What you will find, however, is authenticity, hard earned chops, and a sense of humor to take the edge off.

Master Splinter is composed of the following 3 humanoids:

Mick Arrell - Age 36, history of global drifting, plays guitar and yells simultaneously. Reports say he was held captive by the Chinese Communist Party before mysteriously reappearing in his hometown of Portland, OR in 2021, not long before Master Splinter was blinked into existence.

Jason Schauer - Age 37, former officer in the United States Navy.  Plays the Bass guitar and yells simultaneously.  Reports say he lived in a large, phallic underwater domicile for years on end, which explains his fondness for thrashing his head around in all directions as though he were attempting to give himself whiplash and everyone within 50 feet of him their own concussion.

Erin Skidz - Age unknown.  History unknown.  This tall mysterious humanoid appeared suddenly, sitting behind a Sonor SQ2 drum kit, when Master Splinter was most in need of a new percussionist.  No questions have been asked, and it is the band's hope that he simply continues to materialize when he's needed.